How do you know if you’re happy (or unhappy) right now? Do you know what should you be focusing on this year? How do you evaluate if you want to be friends with somebody or not? Core values. Your most primary beliefs. Your moral guidance.
Why should you care about your core values?
When you have your core values defined you have a compass rose drawn on your life’s map. Too Shakespeare-y? Let’s try less dramatic: when you know what is the most important for you, you are able to plan your life better and do not waste time on things that are not important. Or what would be even worse what seems to be important but is not.
Go through a list of various core values (yes, click here to grab the free list of 197 examples of core values), choose some or name your own and suddenly you’ve created a simple fundament that is a model of the perfect life according to you.
Related post: Just Redefine
Examples of the core values know-how:
If a family is what you care for, obviously you will feel conflicted while working 10 hours a day in the office. Your core value tells you why would you never feel fulfilled in a corporate job and what kind of decisions you need to make.
If you value friendship and hanging out with your girlfriends in the bar over everything else, you need to make it clear while building a romantic relationship to avoid conflicts with your partner.
If personal development is what drives you, this is what you would focus on whenever you plan a self-care moment. Fifteen minutes with the book will give you more energy than a massage or hours of shopping for the new clothes.
And so on.
Guidance for life?
If you decide to define your core values, they will most likely accompany you throughout the whole life. They will be the determinants of major decisions in your life. The reasons you create your life the way it is. Or at least you’re trying to.
Taking the navigation example I already have started, your core values are your compass. They will show you the direction, the good vs bad, the right and wrong. Knowing those guidelines you can make mindful decisions. You have a model and you can compare and contrast your current and future life achievements to this model.
You determine what is it that means the most for you, you can then draw the whole map and compare the outcome to what’s going on in your life now and you can assess if you’re satisfied. Being aware of those central beliefs makes it easier to navigate through any confusing situations you may be in.
No more overwhelm and confusion.
Do you know somebody who seems to always be collected, whose actions are unnaturally consequent and who is so aligned with the universe that you want to poke her eyes? This is irritating, isn’t it? And at the same time isn’t it the coolest?
Probably this person simply knows what she wants and goes for it. Determine your core values and be the reflection of what you believe in!
Related post: Balance in Mom’s Life – is that a joke?
From my experience, I can say that most overwhelm amongst moms comes from not knowing what they really want (at the moment or in general). They are simply confused and lost. It’s understandable. Becoming a mom turns your life upside down and doesn’t give you much free time to think about existential questions.
That’s where clarifying what your core values comes to the rescue!
But what I actually have to do?
It’s really not that complicated, you can go step by step:
Determine your core values (a compass rose)
What drives you, is the most important for you? It takes some thinking. Define what do you really love versus what do you despise? What makes you admire somebody? What stress you, frustrates you versus what makes you feel free and fulfilled?
Have you heard about the WHY? Simon Sinek says “Knowing your why can help you act with purpose”. Your core beliefs are your why!
Create your personal philosophy of life (a map)
Go one step further. Develop your life vision, create a couple of statements that will layout kind of a strategy you live by. Definitely read more about it in this post, it helps you take control over your life.
Set your priorities and goals (the X mark on the map)
Core values help you determine what your aspirations are. Thanks to that you can make a choice what your purpose is, what are the truly important things you should do. Your priorities!
When your actions are aligned with your values you feel your life is balanced and happiness is within your reach. This gives you internal motivation to follow your ambitions, achieve your goals.
Your life can be so easy when your purpose is clear. I know moms that have their core values written on the post-its hanging around the house. Those simple reminders give them a motivation to go on and simplify the decision-making process. In stressful situations quick check in with your core beliefs eliminates second-guessing.
Core values have a main role in the redefining process
When I’m telling you that it’s all about your mindset, I mean that you are in control of what’s going on in your head. Being in control gives you the ability to manipulate the incoming stimulants. Mama, you have the power! And with power comes great responsibility as Spiderman’s uncle said.
If you don’t want to carry all the heaviness of this responsibility on your shoulders – think through your core values. Why? Because you’ll do it once, you will know what they are, and (if nothing major, like life-changing major, happens) you don’t have to contemplate it never again.
You will always know on which track you want to direct your train of thoughts.