You stay at home, so what do you actually do?
You are a stay at home mom. It’s around 5.30 pm, you’re on your 4th microwaved coffee, kids are everywhere (same old, same old). Your husband is coming back from work. You tell him to wait twenty minutes for dinner and maybe ask him to take kids and set the table and make sure their hands are cleaned.
He stares at you as you would speak gibberish but slowly takes action. You can finally focus on dinner and only dinner. When the food is ready, you just set the table the way it should be done and you can sit together like an adorable family you see only on TV.
( oh I know, nobody does that more than once a week, but stay on track of the story!)
You almost have your first bite when hubby (who just wants to start a nice conversation, bless his heart) asks you the fundamental question:
“So honey, what exactly have you been doing the whole today?”
Plates are flying. A fork is sticking out of husbands arm. Kids are eating rolls under the table. Your eyes turned red.
No? Not that bad? Good for you!
Anyway, to make you feel a bit better and I’d even say make you feel more appreciated here is a list of example hybrid of job titles you do while you stay at home according to portal Salary.com :
What are the alternatives to frustration?
Yes, you are busy. And have the right to be tired. If you’ve ever been thinking if you would you be as tired if you worked outside of home, the answer is: yes, you would. It would just be a bit different tired.
When mom stays at home, no matter if she’s working as in “making money at home working” or as in “working because not sitting and drinking coffee”, there’s the additional factor of not changing the environment. That factor makes us bored.
It’s not the lack of stimulants as I heard often. Trust me, we have plenty of those! It’s lack of stimulants’ diversification.
Even though many moms will tell you every day at home is different, if you ask for a more broad perspective, you’ll probably hear every week is similar, every month is the same.
So what can you do to mix it up?
- Go to work. Before you start rolling your eyes, read on. You have your reasons to stay at home. But if you could use some additional income and additional adult time, there are options.
Nobody said that you have to work full time. Look around if there are some positions open only for a couple of hours a week.
I worked once two days a week, in the evenings only in the office that organized activities for community members. It was lots of fun and gave me a break, while my husband stayed at home with the kids, after his work.
- You could also work from home, either having your own online business or for some other entrepreneur. For example as a virtual assistant. Of course, it all depends on how old your children are, but you may gather more info now, to be prepared later. Check The Balance Careers for a great start.
- Look for some options to make money online. Trust me it’s addictive and so satisfying! The moment you get the check, even for just $10 or a $5 gift card is priceless and it’s super fun to be so excited about it. Caroline Vencil is a pro to learn from! Definitely check her blog.
- Do you have a hobby? Or maybe you had one in your pre-baby life? Maybe it’s time to start doing something just for you. I cannot tell you enough how great it was for me to start this blog. It’s a hobby thanks to which I’ve met so many awesome friends. And I am so happy to be able to help fellow mommies with their struggles!
- Find some activities that you can do with your kids not necessarily regularly. Just when you feel like doing it. Make a list of those and when you’re planning the week add something from the list so that every week you do something different. Visit the local library or children’s museum. We like to go to the Barnes & Nobles because they have train track set up in children’s section and somehow it’s more fun than the one we have at home.
Your “WHY” makes staying at home worth it.
No matter how do you spend your time at home, as I mentioned earlier, you have your reason to be where you are. If at any point you feel a bit down, remember why you are a stay at home mom. This will give you the motivation to do it like a boss!
Look into your little one’s eyes and remind yourself what is important for you. If you struggle with this, even just on the emotional level, go back to the basics: your core values and life philosophy.
Being a stay at home mom has lots of benefits for both mom and children. Think about the bond you’re creating, about how safe your little ones are with you. Also, because you stay at home you have the whole household under control!
Which obviously can be a good and a bad thing.
Interested how bosses do it?
You know, it might be overwhelming to have all the home responsibilities on your plate. But as I always remind you: it’s all about your mindset!
You may think you are so busy and overwhelmed or you may think that (like not everybody can) you are in charge of everything around you.
Yes, you are busy, but with a bit of organization, you don’t need to be stressed nor buried under undone chores!
Think about the CEO of the company. If you’re not aware this is the “biggest” chief executive person in the company. S/he is the one who takes responsibility for all of the decisions.
Just like a stay at home mom, isn’t it?
You’re not sure yet? Let’s check what does the CEO do. According to Stever Robbins, who works with CEOs on daily basis, their tasks can be group into 4 categories:
- Setting the strategy
- Building the team
- Setting the culture of the company
- Capital allocation
Isn’t that what every Mama does?
[I don’t want to be disrespectful to Daddies, they work on that too! But it’s Moms’ blog 😉 ]
So let’s sum up those hard-working CEOs:
- Good strategy, a prepared plan is a key to less stressful days. Thank you Captain Obvious. Moms do that regular basis. What else would we use those gorgeous planners for?!
- Building the team. Literally, you built some team members. No? Too cheesy? Ok, so let’s talk hiring the babysitter, choosing the pediatrician, etc. You’re building a village that helps you raise your kids.
- Company culture and values – hopefully, you’re deciding on this one together with hubby, but the truth is, as a stay at home mom, you are there on the spot executing this stuff. You are on double duty here, you’re both the manager and customer service.
- Capital allocation is budgeting and spending. Is any comment even needed?
What to do with all that power?
You may now ask: OK Alicja, but what is your point?! Here it is: When you stay at home you are constantly torn between many roles. That’s the main reason for this overwhelming feeling.
To prevent that you can do some mindset work. Hear me out – it will not magically show up in your head. You need to do some intentional work. But the clue is that if you treat yourself like a boss, and you will act like a boss, at some point you will make this switch and you will start to think like a boss. The boss you truly are as I hoped to reveal in this post.
Take a look at this workbook, You’ll thank me later:
Yes, you perform various functions in your household-company. Yes, those functions are more and less glamorous. But here’s the secret to redefining yourself: You have the choice. You are in control of your mindset. It’s you, lovely and fantastic stay at home mom, who choose to see yourself as a CEO or as a maid.
So please, take a good care of yourself and choose wisely.